Monday 17 September 2012: Another Me
I do seem to take a lot of s/p's
Not sure why, although I have an Inkling it may be to try & prove something to myself???
Once upon a time pictures of me were few and far between. Even now there are non of me at my parents house if we go un announced. Although if pre arranged a couple get put on the sideboard.
I now sometimes like what I see and know that the reason there are no pictures of me at my parents is to do with them not me.
They are alcoholics, it took me a long long time to understand the way I was/still am being treated is not normal, and more importantly is not my fault.
The other reason for the photos now is the weight loss. 7 years ago I weighed almost 15 stone. I still see me sometimes in these s/ps and don't recognise myself. I was large for a long time, so I suppose it will take a long time to get used to this me lol
I don't know where all that has come from??
No that's wrong. I do know. Today I had a wobble, went back to the indecisive old me, the "I can't have nice things, I don't deserve them, I'm not worth it me". My amazing o/h helped me through it, brought the real me back.
These wobbles don't last as long now as they once did and that's thanks to him.
I am worth it, I do deserve them and I CAN have nice things!
Sorry I've waffled.... Sometimes you have to write it down to understand it better. Better out than in & all that :)
Thank you to the most amazing man in the whole world for putting up with me & my wobbles & helping me understand them xxxxx