Thursday 3 March 2011

The sun is out - so why the long face?

I don't normally reveal my soul on here, but today I'm making an exception. I'm deeply unhappy and unsettled at the moment. In reverse order of significance ...

- perhaps unfairly first in the list, I have a family funeral tomorrow - an uncle, not as traumatic for me perhaps as for other members of my family but, all the same, a timely reminder of the 'bigger picture'.
- my employer's stability is still seriously in question and, whilst I hesitate to elevate the importance of money, it's more the absence of it that worries on a daily basis.
- my d i v o r c e moves a step closer today - not something I'm pleased about, proud of or inclined to even talk about much. To me it's quite a private matter but, in writing this here, I'm acknowledging the emotional damage that the situation has caused and continues to create daily, on both sides.
- finally, as a result of the diabolical mess I make dealing with all the above, I know I hurt other innocent people around me - people that I know care about me and want to help. People I push away, hold at a distance or shut out. To those people I am humbly apologetic.

For all the above reasons, I wear the long face. I'm trying to appreciate the sun but not feeling it's warmth yet.

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21:36 pm - first job to getting the first hurdle out of the way - sew a button on the shirt for tomorrow!

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