Tuesday 8 March 2011: Hypnotized
It wouldn't have been so awful,
it wouldn't have seemed so bad,
if the daft bloke in the spotlight
had been someone else's dad.
It wouldn't have been us embarrassed.
It wouldn't have been us who whinged.
Another family would have suffered.
Other relatives would have cringed.
But it was our dad up there.
It was our dad having a go.
It was our dad being laughed at.
Our dad was part of the show.
He said he wouldn't go under.
He claimed he could stay in control.
He would resist the hypnotist.
His will power we would extol.
But in no time Dad was barking
and crawling around on all fours.
He willingly begged for a biscuit
and whined to be let out of doors.
It really was a nightmare.
Not nice for his next of kin.
But when Dad returned to his seat
he swore he couldn't remember a thing.
Not acting like a Jack Russell?
Not being forced to sit up and beg?
'Not even,' he said, with a twinkle,
'biting that hypnotist's leg!'
Copyright Bernard Young
From Wanted Alive by Bernard Young, Hands up Books, 2004