Monday 9 May 2011: Big sparkles, little life

437/365: Had a bit of time this morning... not much mind you... but a bit... so managed to take a quick macro shot as the sun came up behind the trees and lit up the dew. This tiny chap was obviously busy enjoying the view into his sparkling, verdant world. Being a bug doesn't seem too bad sometimes, huh?

In fact, I could quite do with a bit less hectic in my life. Rush, rush, rush at the moment. I left a little later than normal for work this morning... but I caught myself thinking at a quarter to seven, 'eeeek, I'm late!!!' What a crazy world when you're already late before most people have opened their eyes or had breakfast. *sigh*

Anyway, at least the start to the day sparkled. Although, funnily enough it did so on exactly this day last year. And in the image I put on Flickr for my 365 project, I wrote the following:

Some how, when a morning starts off this nicely, it doesn't seem to matter what else will happen for the rest of the day.

Think I may now have tempted fate though and it'll be horrid later... sorry! :o)

Writing that throwaway line haunts me and I've never felt quite the same about a perfect morning since. That night... after that wonderful start to the morning... and me declaring that it didn't matter what else happened, but saying that I might have tempted fate. That night, my dad died.

I can't let myself feel that unreserved 'happy', well... just in case.

Is that stupid? I could delete the description of that image, you know. Pretend I'd never said it. But I always did used to feel that way. That somehow a morning that was wonderful could keep your batteries charged for the remainder of the day. Even something bad could happen because you could hold on to the happy. You'd tasted it. It was in you. But then it didn't work out like that at all. A wake up call to life? I don't know. Just kind of wanted to muse on it a bit I suppose because Dad's been in my mind on and off all day.

Work - normal. Kids - normal. Life - normal.

Happy, sad, tiring, relaxing, intense, subtle, quiet, loud.

Normal. A new normal.

PS One very disconnected write-up... but I guess that sums up my feelings today.
PPS Am in one of those 'here, but not really feeling present' kinda moods. Sorry.

• Canon EOS 50D:
• f/2.5:
• 1/100":
• 50mm:
• ISO 100

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