Tuesday 7 June 2011: Waster

I think it was on my third journey to the kerbside with our landfill, cardboard and plastic bottles this morning that our elderly neighbour popped her head out.

"Are the tin cans going out today?"

"No, it's a red box day."

"Darn", she said, "I have a tin can I need to get rid of."

"Just give me it and I'll pop it in our blue box for next time."

"Thanks", she replied, "It's been hanging around for two weeks now" before presenting me with this perfectly sterilised, flattened half-sized can.

How the hell do old folk do it? I know there's three times as many of us next door, but we manage to produce about twenty times the amount of waste.

I think the next Koyoto summit should be attended only by people over the age of 80, who'd be given free reign to introduce a new set of laws which all people in all countries must subsequently abide by. Global warming would be on the retreat within a fortnight, I tell you.

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