Nothing to do with me
I'd just like to point out, for the avoidance of doubt, that we had decided to go to Glasgow before it started pissing from the heavens, making it a perfect day for sitting indoors. Furthermore, I'd like it to be known that if I'd really wanted an iPad I would have bought one and that it is a pure coincidence that I was just yesterday saying that Snapseed is a photo editing app that is almost worth buying an iPad for. And that I did nothing to influence my mum's decision to abandon her attempts to get to grips with the aforementioned iPad. And that she cancelled her broadband all by herself (although her apparent insistence to the man on the other end of the phone that she hadn't asked for it in the first place, and her failure to remember me getting it set up (and paying for it)) making the iPad useless anyway. So really, it made sense to take it from her, having mostly bought the thing in the first place.
Still, that gives me something to do this evening while having a nice glass of wine and half-watching a film.
This is the new boat. A thing of dilapidated beauty.