Oh my lavatory has been my sanctuary
And it's easy for you to laugh at me
Cos I been 30 good years in the bathroom baby
Ruba-dub-dub one man in the tub and it's me and it's me
Always me

Chorus:
And now the time has come to share the joke
That the latch on the bathroom door was broke
And now it's time to let you know
That it's only the beat of my heart that is slow

Who's fault is this
I deny that it's mine
I been stuck in here since 1959
Well that's 30 good years in the bathroom baby
But it's okay yeah it's okay
Cos when they come to take me away
I will be clean I will be clean...

Chorus:

Well I been 30 years in a bad mood baby
But it's okay yeah it's okay
Cos that's better than 30 years on the back seat of a car
Aah beat me with the pumice stone
Eight to the bar