Every cloud ...

I am going to miss the drive through the Fens from Huntingdon to get home. I'm going to miss it so much. I love watching cloud formations, I love watching rain from afar. I love being put in my place every day, when all my problems feel too big for my shoulders, I look at the sky and realise that I'm but nothing within this world, and only then do I feel trouble free.

I took a few pics whilst on the way to the old house, I've been feeling quite down about having left, almost as though I've made a huge mistake by leaving. It's left an empty hole and I feel pretty raw. I don't know if this is compounded by the fact that we're all living in my Mums small 3 bed house and the children aren't listening to me as rules are different at Nanas house. Perhaps if we'd moved straight in our own house I wouldn't feel this way, but, we left the City of Peterborough 2 years ago as we were on the verge of splitting up - that was a lot to do with living right next door to 2 of Mr G's friends and him spending most of his weekends there. Not fun. The village is the first place I've felt as though I've belonged, the place where I've made the most friends, and where I feel my heart is. I feel lost.

Anyhow, so we went to the old house today to clean it all, I've cleaned up each room, vacuumed everywhere, washed down all the woodwork, washed all the windows etc and coming away, I feel a bit better, almost like, I've said goodbye to it. I'm still saddened though ..

The worst bit .. today, there was a postie card through the door for my step dad. Initalled MB .. that's my ex! Shit!!! ARGH! Glad I wasn't in. That relationship went terribly wrong (I was bad) so I split with him, he re-married, she added me to FB and bombarded me with very rude messages / threats etc, bearing in mind I split up with him 10 years ago after an 18 month relationship, she got in touch with me about 2 years ago .. Why!? Oh great. To live in a big town where your ex lives. Fan-bloody-tastic!

Every cloud ... every cloud has a silver lining. Shame I need to wait 3 weeks for my silver lining!!