Rowan Berries

I've begun to realise today the full extent to which I had dug deep within myself on Saturday's ride. As I've got older the stamina is still there as much as it has always been, but I'm slower of pace and it definitely takes much longer to recover. Young muscle bounces back to full vigour very quickly. Mine just doesn't have that kind of elasticity any more! The stomach has recovered but I still feel very 'spacey', a bit like being hungover. I suspect - quite seriously - that it is the result of a spike of adrenaline and endorphins. I must have been high on a cocktail of natural drugs that day, and you come down afterwards rather sharply, experiencing withdrawal symptoms of a kind. The best antidote is simply to go out and exercise more, but I've not been able to do that because of a lack of time, as well as just feeling completely spent! The sum total of my exercise over the last three days has been one short walk on the moor.

At the top of the Col de la Croix de Fer I pretty much knew that we would be in for an epic by committing ourselves to the Galibier. I've enough experience of mountain weather to realise how miserable it was going to be over the top, yet there seemed to be no way I could bring myself to return with the one mate who had more common sense. It wasn't so much a little voice inside telling me to go on but a command being shouted at me! It had to be obeyed. I guess I've always had this drive to push myself to the limits, but I've no idea where it comes from. It's a fundamental part of my personality. It would have been hard to have watched the other two come back from an epic without me. I would have witnessed them shivering with the cold, unable to get warm despite a hot shower, and still been envious. It's very hard to explain, but I would have felt that I had given away a bit of the life that has been given to me to live. I would have lost a great story. And perhaps that's why I'm rambling away at the moment, because stories need to be told, and it is the hearing of other people's stories that inspire us to create our own.

A lot to catch up with today at work, with very little chance to take a break, so I'm posting this and signing off, with apologies to those people I've not yet had a chance to catch up with. The rowan trees are looking very colourful at the moment. This one has somehow managed to get a foothold on my balcony!