Go back a little to leap further

Today's title is a little odd. It took me a long time to find a title, and I wanted something which related to my picture but nothing came. Calling it 'Tree' just seemed daft to me...so I found a quote which sums up my mood today.

I am feeling like this today because as I sit and work on my Biology Case Study, I have realised that even if it is not perfect at the end of it all, it doesn't need to be. I think that a lot of the time I get myself so worked up and worried over the tiniest details in my work at school (pretty sure my teacher's will agree) that it stresses me out too much.

Considering that at the end of the summer, I will be starting Year 11 which is apparently the most important year of my life, I am certainly going to need to find myself a way to deal with the stress I unknowingly put on myself during school. I still don't know why I get so stressed, but if I find a way to deal with it instead of allowing it to build up then surely that is a starting point for me. It affects my sleep mostly, as I find myself waking up to 4 times in a night during the most stressful times of a school year (exam period, or when I have a lot of controlled assessments going on). I'm often just scared of letting people down and feel like if I don't succeed in everything then they will be disappointed in me. I know, deep down, that of course they won't be disappointed and that they are happy with whatever results I get but it seems to be a constant issue for me. I definitely overwork myself because of this.

I don't think that I would be the person I am if I didn't get stressed over my work and my cousin told me "You will always get stressed when it comes to your work because that is who you are and people who tell you that you should 'just relax' don't understand but you need to make it work for you" and she's right.

There are going to be times when I fail, and there are going to be times when I feel like I can't do any better than what I am already doing. It is inevitable, but I need to learn to accept it.