Thursday 25 August 2011: Little Wriggler ...
I swear this baby can dance already!
I guess one advantage to baby measuring small is there is plenty of room to frolic around in there?! I took a series of photos as baby moved from one side of my belly to the other - it was NUTS! I was laughing so much, watching. Can you see how squint my bump looks?! That's baby, grooving for Mamma! (The harsh light and crap focus is hardly flattering - could I actually accentuate my tummy down anymore? I think not! But I don't care, baby's funny protruding limb just makes me laugh.)
I had a midwife appt yesterday, where I was able to voice my concerns about baby's growth ... Well, outcome is I'm still measuring on the small side - but only by a week or two. So, there is still a chance baby can catch up. I am force-feeding myself and trying desperately not to be sick ... that's harder than it sounds and pretty foul at times!
But when the midwife realised how worried I was about the whole sickness/baby's growth thing, she was very reassuring and explained that in my case, that's unlikely to have huge impact as I am taking in enough foor overall and what does stay down is healthy. She said that some women's placenta's work better than other's ... and that my build was unlikely to produce a whopper anyway ... and that some women just grow smaller babies, that are nonetheless in perfect health at birth. She also said baby may well come early - which I knew and kind of feel anyway ... if it would just flip the right way round first, that would be great!
I was a bit overwhelmed by it all I suppose - lots to take in. The midwife also pointed out that if you've had complications in a prior pregnancy, carrying again can be more stressful. I guess I was blaming myself.
I missed a huge hug at the end of yesterday - that's for sure!
I realised that a really big cry would be a good thing.
Today, I feel much more positive. The baby has had steroids, so has a much improved chance of fine health if it does decide to arrive early. I'm in a good frame of mind, I think because I felt listened to? The consultant at the growth scan (at 28 weeks) was busy and dismissive and I left feeling completely in the dark. Now I feel I can trust my instinct more and more and that, what will be, really will be. A is due to be away a lot in October and I'd been apprehensive about him missing the birth, or being out of communication completely as he's working in some very remote parts of the world. But he can't help that and I'm getting my head round giving birth without him if need be. I can do it if I have to, of course I can and I know he'll be there in spirit, if not in person.
Today has been a fantastic day, actually. Simple, but a sudden burst of energy (borne of relief and acceptance I think!) has just made it really good.
I've even managed to backblip the missing gaps since my return, a whole ten consecutive days now - yay! I'm still plodding around, trying to reply to everyone ... I'll get there ... My journal is kind of personal just now I guess, I'm feeling things pretty close to my heart and I can see it coming across in very family-orientated photos and little moments I want to hold on to - it's like a cosy blanket!
For anyone with dinosaur crazy kiddos who liked the look of Finlay's fake tattoo yesterday ... Huge selection here!
Another reason I have been smiling all day is it's my First Wedding Anniversary tomorrow - woooooooohoooooo - such fantastic memories!