Dessicated fridge fodder

I decided to do some food today, although in this case I use the term food very loosely, weapons of bodily dysfunction might be a more accurate adjective for these deceptively pretty little monsters. They say red is natures warning to beware of the danger, well nature has a sense of humor, because it is the green chillies that you have to be careful of.

I was about to take my morning trek to visit my sustenance supplier, to purchase some fresh chilli, but chose to peer into the refrigerator which is not something I do very often. I found some nice mould patches, but I think I will let them grow some more, for a future blip (just kidding). I found this contribution at the back of the bottom shelf. Why I hid them back there, I have no idea, it is not like they were fighting for space. Apart from four duck eggs and this bowl of desiccated suppositories, the pantry was bare of organic life.

I thought I would embellish my literary offering with a few tips and rules to follow:

Green = danger.
Small green = extreme danger.
Never bite into a chilli unless you have a mouthful of food.
Never drink immediately after chewing a chilli (important).
Do not swallow whole, it will fight back the next day, inflicting severe muscle cramps.
When cooking with chilli, chop as fine as possible. Nobody like a chilli surprise.
Go to the bathroom before working with chilli, way too dangerous after.
Do not put your hands anywhere near your eyes.
Wash your hands at least six times, with vigorous use of a nail brush (extremely important).
No sex for at least six hours, or you will be sleeping in the shed.

When cooking with chilli, I cut the end off (discard) and roll the chilli between finger and thumb. This chases all the seeds out. Collect in a cup. The seeds are the hottest part of the chilli, I like to whisk the seeds into egg for even distribution. Finely chop the skins, this spreads the fire evenly throughout the food. It gives the food edge without being imposingly hot. Chilli adds no flavor, so you will still need to add your herbs, garlic and spices.

Try a sausage, garlic, onion and chilli omelet, recipe on request. Dang, I?m hungry now.

Dave