An advertising agency, somewhere:

"Jesus. What is this stuff?"

"They say it's cheese."

"In a tube?"

"Yeah, I know..."

"OK. What can we do with it?"

"Apart from eat it?"

"You'd eat that!?!"

"Point taken. Well. Look. You can smear it about the place."

"That's not selling it to me."

"I mean, you could draw with it."

"It's a bit dull to draw with, isn't it? Christ. It's turning yellow! Is it going rancid?"

"Yeah, it does that if you leave it out for a few minutes."

"And the smell's a little off putting, no?"

"Yeah. I know. But look... we can do two tone smearing! Sorry... I mean drawing!"

"We're only ever going to sell this stuff to idiots."

"So, can we draw, two-tone style. And maybe we could draw the type of people... you know... that may appeal to the type of people that might, well, buy this stuff?"

"Pictures of idiots, for idiots?

"If you want to put it like that."

"There's feck all else we can do with it."


And lo, the Primula outdoor smearing art campaign was born.