Swearing the Oath.

Fuck and double fuck.

Have been called up for Jury Service.
I've had other commitments the last 5 (yes I know) times
over the last 2 years, but this time I'm available.

Thing is, it's the High Court this time
and everybody tells me it'll probably be a murder
(sorry, we're in Scotland, so murrrddur).

Would rather it was:
Man steals orange from local upstanding grocer,
Or woman goes to the toilet without
spending a penny, but it probably won't be.

I can only conclude (m'lud) that my fair-minded
and balanced opinions on practically everything has reached
the ears of the Scottish Judicial System, and that's
why they are haranging me to help them out.

Or maybe not.