Wrong Footed

I only went to move a hose that was resting on a rose bush, stepping on a retaining wall topped by a sleeper which was slimy. My foot slipped and I felt and heard a loud crack in my right ankle. After doing a stylish double somersault combined with a back-flip I found myself inelegantly dangling upside down in the bushes, stuck. My neighbour was working on the new French windows with his brother only 20 yards away but they thought it was the dogs squealing. Luckily Sir came round looking for a broom and was a bit more inquisitive. I don't want to think about how long it might have taken for anyone to find me had it been a weekday! Naturally it had to be the right foot didn't it - I won't even be able to drive my automatic until January at the earliest.