Friday 9 December 2011: Surviving
Whenever I spend time in the presence of gulls I am quite certain I was one in a former life.
There was a time my life was crap in so many ways I was unable to cope with it. During that period I'd have scary dreams in which I was being chased by unknown beings and I would always fly up and away from whatever danger was after me. I'd fly over the trees and then look down and feel at ease - and safe*.
Somehow, in my non-dream world, there were always gulls. I'd sit in the chair at the dentist and a gull would hover right outside the window. I'd go for a walk and before I even set foot on the beach a single gull would be hanging in the air next to me at all times.
Somehow their survival instinct started to represent my own. Their fearlessness made me feel stronger.
While in therapy to deal with all the crap, we were one day asked to draw an animal we felt connected to and I, naturally, designed a gull. It was hanging in the air almost exactly in the same pose as this one did for me today and it made me think about how much things have changed in a few years and how much more 'well' I am now. And then I shared my lunch with 'm :)
Today was our first official snow day - I walked to work and was yelled at for not calling for a ride. Aw. I have nice co-workers :)
*Which is odd because I'm scared on airplanes.