Sunday 8 January 2012: A Christmas balls up.
I accidentally sat on their treasured glass Christmas decorations
ones that the family had carefully collected over decades.
Not a single bastard wanted to know whether I had shards
of shattered Christmas decoration in my arse.
In my defence, I was really nervous.
It was the first time I had met my boyfriend's family.
They thought they were really posh.
Much worse than people who are actually posh.
The only person that laughed was my boyfriend's brother,
I couldn't be sure, but I think he was a little 'slow'
because he was the only one that liked me,
and he kept looking me in the eye and saying 'Wednesday'.
The posh boyfriend and I stopped going out after that. I was quite relieved.