Goodbye Six!

And Hello Seven!

What's sixteen plus fourteen plus seven...?...

(1298578268$£%&*U(U^R!@!£...=_---+<\±?+== ...)

Thirty-seven!

That's thirty-seven birthdays our kids have had so far. And there's another one in February and another one in March...

It's exhausting and because I'm sensitive to smells, light, noise, crowds, and chaos I find birthdays hard work. But it's all about that one person for one day and that's not too much to ask, is it? It's not like I have 365 children (or 366 this year) and I'm much happier for the day to be all about Tess than it being all about my father dying as it was on her fourth birthday.

He died in the night after Tess'a birthday - so officially the small hours of 11th Jan.
That day was the worst day of my life, so far...
And yet Tess's actual birth day was the best day of my life because everything went so well and I had a beautiful home birth with no complications and no pain relief. I was truly happy and content to have the three children I always wanted and to have finally done things the way they suited me.
It's weird how memories of different things - such different contrasting things - can overlap at the same time and fill you all at once with nostalgia and sadness and love.

It is very lovely, though, to have a good memory of the day Tess was born to return to every year on her birthday.
Happy 7th Birthday Tess!


(Written in a tired hurry)