Tuesday 24 January 2012: A fishy situation.
I made a TV ad for Rowenta Irons once.
We were going to film live Salmon against a blue background
in a tank of water, to echo the silvery iron cutting through denim
(I never said it was any good).
Unfortunately the Salmon had all died in the tank
on their way down from Scotland.
The atmosphere was not good, and very wet as it was
raining hard outside, making a ton of noise from the
aluminium roof of the studio we were shooting in.
So we decided to slide them down some drainpipe
into the water, and shoot that.
It worked a treat, and honestly, you couldn't tell the fish were dead.
It was much less tense, now the problem was solved,
but the props guys were looking a bit shifty,
and kept trying to leave the set.
No-one could work out what their problem was.
Until the roof made a tearing noise, and a sheet of water
ran down the wall and came pouring across the floor,
crackling and shorting every electrical item on the studio floor.
It was like a disaster scene from near the end of a James Bond film
(which seemed appropriate as we were shooting at Pinewood Studios)
Suddenly, we all knew where the props guys had got the drainpipe from.
Everyone ran away from the water, not wanting to
die in a hideous electric shock incident.
Honestly, I have never seen a film crew move so fast.
I was standing on a metal camera box thinking:
Is metal ok? Is metal ok? OH FUCK, IS METAL OK?
Luckily, and for seemingly no reason, the water just stopped short of us.
It had travelled about 60ft in about 10 seconds.
Fucking props guys. Dodgy bastards to a fucking man.