Sunday 5 February 2012: Welling
I'm the sort that wells up with sadness and wells up with happiness. The eyes tear at sunsets and sunrises and my three year old eyes cried at the end of Swan Lake. When the swan was dying I ran down the aisle of the theater screaming, "DON'T DIE!" And when I was a little older I welled up at Nicky Wild Dog of the North being stung by bees - so much so that my mother dragged the crying me from the theater. My brothers were there and they pretended not to know me.
So today I was thinking on the way to the lake that I needed to protect myself in life but also I needed to open my heart. It was okay to put a brilliant shield of light around me to keep in the good and deflect the bad and create a place to shine my own light - but it seems time to be more careful not to deflect everything. I tend to like being off on my own, enjoying my own company and being involved with nature and animals and creative projects. I pulled in to the parking lot at Lake Beebe with a resolve in my heart to be that - protected and open to new adventures and to trust my judgement who to let in and whom to deflect. It all felt very good and sound and right.
I floated around the shore and across the foot bridge to the far side of the park area and enjoyed my eyes being a bit blinded by the sun. For whatever reason that makes me laugh and feel free.
When I came home and uploaded my shots to the computer, this one made me gasp, well up, then giggle. There was my shield in the sky - my dome of protective light glittering over the frozen lake. Yes it is some sort of thing that happens because of the lens and the sun and I could care less about the technical side of it. It made my day feel very profound and deep and happy. Welling up now. Off to blow my nose and wipe my eyes.