The year is 2042. I am 78.
I remain true to my lifelong quest in ridding the world of talentless architects. There is just one more to find.
With my poker winnings I have bought one of his buildings where, in a dark and cold room, strewn with the crumbling remains of paper-thin walls , I sit alone hatching my catastrophic plan. This is who I have become.
But I am downhearted. Newcastle Utd have just signed Shola Ameobi's grandson and a part-time window cleaner from Auchinleck Talbot. It may be our last season in the Simon Cowell sponsored Conference (North East) Div 3.
Outside it has started to rain.