Saturday 24 March 2012: Little things
It was difficult getting some rest last night - too much adrenaline, too much worry, too much asthma. I dozed off in a cocoon of the Beloved's snoring which, instead of the normal aggravation, soothed me. "As long as he snores", my brain told me, "he's still alive!"
Which of course meant that as soon as he woke up I was up too, as the snoring had stopped.
It was also not even 4am yet.
He said I have mortality issues. I figured out it's not so much my own mortality - it's that of others. I think one of the reasons I don't actively go out and make friends is because I know they will eventually leave me. The fact that I did such an incredibly risky thing as getting married says much about the man that got me to do that.
I texted him while he was on his way to work. He told me to get some sleep. I, instead, let the cats into the bedroom and felt comforted by their purrs - and the occasional head butt. Then I played on Facebook - took down curtains to wash, had breakfast, pottered about.
I had a lovely bike ride through hazy streets and marshy forest lanes, sat outside in the drizzle, listened to the birds.
And then I found this beauty. Tucked away between a porch post and the house, almost impossible to get to (on the floor, laying down, no light, camera wedged against the backdoor for support as the tripod couldn't get near) - but worth the effort as during the 30 minutes it took me to get an acceptable shot not once did I think about crap that could, might,will happen.
It's the little things.
I'm pretty sure this little thing came out today and is drying its wings. It's been in the same spot for at least 3 hours and even with me + camera less than an inch away didn't fly off. I checked for spiderwebs but it's not stuck and very much alive. I very carefully touched the tip of the wings and they feel sticky :)
ps. A bit grainy but not horrible large.