Friday 6 April 2012: Arrested Development
Despite the mild headache and gastroenteritis ( it must have been a dodgy pint last night ), had an early start at the gym with Alan. He frequents one of those gyms where everyone looks airbrushed, no one ever sweats and they all treat themselves to a pint of edamame smoothie afterwards. I was a guest for the day and put Waynetta Slob well and truly on the Guiseley gym map today..
Lovely lunch, lovely potter around Guiseley and then ruined it all by visiting the shopping equivalent of Dante's Inferno : Ikea. On a Bank Holiday. Nine circles of hell. ( Also know as the Kitchen department, the sofa department .... and they save the worst till last... the collection point). The wardrobe I needed wasn't in stock. I do realise that most sensible people would check something was in stock before braving Dante's Inferno on a Bank Holiday but I lack the sensible chromosone.
Had a quick wander round the other shops trying to find a wardrobe. I loathe shopping but it was a necessary evil. I had my work's access fob on my keyring and it set off the alarms in the first shop. Had no bags with me but I was still questioned by security as to whether I had anything from the store.. " Yes actually I have a wardrobe in my pocket, right next to the chest of drawers and giant immitation Ming vase "
The same happened again in Next. I beeped noisily at the door but they ignored me. I wandered round aimlessly undwerwhelmed by most things and realised that maybe I am just allergic to shopping after all. This photo was when I was heading for the stairs. I stopped , did that really unsubtle thing of looking around to check no one was watching me before I took some photos. After looking dodgy and winning an award for " Woman Least Likely to Make it as a Spy", I then beeped again on the way out with my fob. No one came.
The moral of the story is you can probably get away with shoplifting in Next as no one takes a blind bit of notice of security issues.
Not that I would ever advocate theft I was just miffed that despite my best efforts I couldn't get questioned by security guards twice in one afternoon!
Honestly my attempts at getting attention are pathetic even by my standards!
Right it's Friday and it's a quick couple of pints of lime and soda with friends and then an early night before a big run tommorow
Have a good evening you all
Oh ... And if you ever do get arrested, this is how to entertain the police ...