Red dragon

A very cloudy day and not really conducive to insect photography. A better plan would have been to amble down the road and collect myself a portrait. I wanted to do something really positive today, so I decked myself with my blip commando gear and off I set.

Insect blips were very scarce and what little was available I was backing up with flash shots. Yes, I could have ramped up the ISO numbers, but the problem was that the lack of light was leaving the images rather flat and dull and ISO was not going to solve that problem.

This repeat of a red dragon was an easy choice for today's blip and was actually the first shot of about sixty that I took in the 45 minute session.

Still coming to terms with my forced exodus in a couple of weeks. Sleeping has become rather erratic and sporadic, but that is not a problem as when I get tired, I just close my eyes and throw out a few zzz's, it is not like I have to get up at 07:00 or anything - yet!

My mind is racing with all the possibilities, good and bad, potentially very bad, but one thing that I always say is 'don't sweat the things that you cannot control'. Yes, it is my fault for the mess that I am in, but it is done now and cannot be undone, live with it.

I have been at many crossroads in my life, as I am sure most of you have too, so this is nothing new to me. Crossroads like leaving my first job after sixteen years to go contracting, two divorces and a few long term relationship collapses, my first period of forced unemployment taught me a lot, even the conclusion of each long term contract is a fair sized crossroad involving big changes and moves.

The fact is that since quitting my first job, my life has been totally unpredictable and for the last twenty two years I could seldom say what I would be doing or where I would be in the world in twelve months time and the same is true now. The hot favorites, not mine, but in a betting sense, are Germany and China. Sweden is a possibility, but I am not going to be selective, so I could literally end up anywhere.

All this is assuming that I make it back to the UK and even that is not certain yet! This life that I have chosen is definitely not for everyone but I do actually enjoy the thrill of it and do not regret for a second, the decision to leave my first job. This is also why I choose to live alone, avoiding the responsibility of having to look after someone else. Of course, if I had that responsibility then I would not be in the mess that I find myself in now. Pushing to the limit means that you fall off the edge occasionally.

Dave