Saturday 26 May 2012: Deathly Hallows.
Harry Potter is the only thing that's keeping me sane at the moment.
Today has been the worst day I think I've ever experienced. I went to work today, and when I finished at 3 o'clock I'd pretty much given up on everything. I was tempted to wait around and see if anyone could buy me some cigarettes as I just got paid, but decided against it. I went home, sat in the garden, read a few chapters of Deathly Hallows and just wept for about an hour. I've done something really, really stupid. And I have no idea what to do. I just can't stop myself, and then I end up like this. But I just feel so alone, no one could give a fuck (excuse my language) - and I'm happy with that. I don't want anyone to care about me, I want to be alone. I don't need anyone. I just wish I could look after myself.
But I've given up on life basically. I'm going to spend every single minute of the half-term hidden away in my room. I genuinely don't think I've ever felt so down in my whole life. Fun!
So now I'm sat on my windowsill in my room with my speakers just blasting a load of crap, my neighbours are angry but I couldn't give a shit anymore, I'm done. I stole a bottle of Vodka from downstairs and even though my Mum is going to be home in just under two hours, I don't care. She'll kick me out or kill me, preferably the latter. But I just don't care anymore. See ya.