Returned to the scene of yesterday's crime - hoping perhaps for another glimpse, or a discarded business card, or part-used book of matches. But nothing. As if she was never there. A figment of my imagination.

I trudged home dejected. Back to the gull shots then. It's all your fault of course - for not providing me with her phone number (not that I'd have known what to do with it if you had)!

PS What do you do with an (ex)employer that makes you redundant but hasn't kept your NI contributions up to date, even though he's deducted it from your salary!!! Answers on a razor-sharp postcard, or preferably etched onto the side of a bullet with his name on please.

PPS It's not even a particularly good gull shot. Sorry!