Thoughts on an Anniversary

I remembered that it was our anniversary when I was sitting in the dermatology waiting room catching up with Blipfoto and saw the date. OilMan remembered it was our anniversary when he got my text. He replied, but he sent it to Dana instead of to me. My comment when I finally got it was that it sounded a bit like a stockbroker's report. Dana dropped off this  arrangement of flowers from her garden while I was gone, so I don't know if she remembered or not, but either way, they are beautiful and strikingly arranged.

Needless to say, OilMan and I have never been very good about remembering the date, and now that we have passed our 50th one, I think it is safe to say that we are comfortable enough with each other that we don't require excessive acknowledgements. 

Considering that I was 19 and OilMan was 22 when we got married, it's been a very good run. We have grown old together and have acquired many of each others' habits. We can finish each others' sentences and begin each others' thoughts. He is quietly dependable and caring, loving in an undemonstrative way, and yet we aren't like those couples one sees sitting across from each other in a restaurant who never utter a single word to each other during their meal. (In fact, now it seems to be the young people who sit in restaurants staring at their phones instead of into each others' eyes….)

Well aware of our youth, and both of us being typical firstborn children, we broke the news to our parents in a very businesslike way. We had a plan and we stuck to it. OilMan began his job at Chevron and I finished my degree. In our first apartment with rented furniture, we broke the bed, which the landlord thought was very funny, prompting us to go out and buy our own furniture. 

Together we raised three great children and have been rewarded with six wonderful grandchildren. We have buried our own parents and were shocked when John's sister said  to me "Now you are the matriarch of the family." Now she too has died without ever finding out  how right she was, and how much that title means to me now. 

We have traveled with small children, bought homes and made renovations to to both of them…all things we have been told can be deal breakers in a marriage. We have our differences, but they are far outweighed by the fact that we are a good team. I keep him from over thinking things and he keeps me tethered to firm ground. 

I am a very lucky woman to have found a perfect mate when I was probably too young to know what that meant. I am very lucky that we have made a lifetime of memories together and can consider a text that says, "Been an enjoyable and noteworthy 53 years" the best kind of love letter.

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