Heron

A very mixed long day.

Up early, breakfast, sofa, dishes, washing then supermarket. All the while having a heart beating faster than in should, along with the burning sensation and dodgy breathing.

Phone call to S to confirm the times I fly down to see her in a few weeks. Onto internet to book flights, the procedure simple enough to follow and I managed to check in and book the boarding passes. Trying hard to breath, following the exercises my counsellor showed me, not very well.

Needed to get out the house , so headed out to the Botanics, where I saw this Heron. I stood and watched it for ages, move very slowly across the pond and get itself onto the branch. It didn't take off, just stretched.

Home, exhausted, so try to sleep on the sofa. I started to get hot, chest burning, heart pounding and hard to breath. Got worse, then the tears started. For the next 15-20 mins a full on panic attack. Eventually calmed down enough to take a diazepam and lie down.

Rest of night on sofa, tired, still struggling with the breathing, chest burning and wishing to be someone else.