Friday 24 August 2012: Goodbye
I'm not one for writing stuff like this but i'm really at a loss. My boyfriend of two years has left today to go on a walk around the country and I will barely see him. He was here the past month and we did everything together, now it feels like someone's cut part of me off. I feel so sick and down. Its possible i've never felt this bad before. I recently was diagnosed with depression but i'm not sure if its accurate but im starting counselling soon to get a better diagnosis. I came home after dropping josh off with his dad and broke down. Everything reminded me of him. The empty bottle of Liptons Ice tea sat on my table (his favorite drink) his jacket lying across my bedroom floor and my pet praying mantis's which he bought me for my birthday sat on my window. The towels from our shower together still drying on the radiator. I sat clutching the cup which earlier contained slush puppy which is our thing. We sat drinking it and cuddling crying together as I let him go. My last gesture to him was a love heart symbol with my hands through my car window which he returned as we drove away leaving him behind. Im scared most of tonight when I have to sleep in my big double bed alone without him with me. I really need some advice and help. I feel like im having a break down.