Three.

Tonight, fears are growing for the missing .....um.....lady, Tallulah Razzle, following the discovery of her abandoned car, earlier today, at a remote spot in the Scottish Highlands.
Miss Razzle, 49, had no family and only a few close friends but she was thought of very fondly by her many 'acquaintances', including a MrSmith who is presently being held at Tyndrum police station and is helping the local constabulary with their inquiries.
Two days ago, a note was found at her flat that thanked her 'subscribers and subscribees' who had encouraged her and who had, over the previous three years, brought a flicker of happiness into her otherwise empty life.
With the weather worsening once more, the search for Miss Razzle has now been called off until tomorrow.
Friends described her as 'a tit', 'a numpty' and 'a ponce'.