Theakston "Old Peculiar"

See LARGE.

Well now ... something completely different. The following speech must be delivered with the broadest working class Strine accent that can be managed.

"Ahem. Eptas and I have been discussing beers and whiskeys (and such) for quite a while now. I have been meaning to go sample some bottled British ales but I keep forgetting. Early onset, you know. However at long last I have begun to work my way through the variety of British beers available from my local Dan Murphy outlet. In a new series of blips stretching over the next few months years I am going to review them for you.

Now in Australia one learns the rules of pub culture from a fairly tender age. You can start a conversation with a bloke at the bar. You can pour scorn on his politics. You can make fun of his preference for cars. You can even rubbish his football team .... buuuut .... under no circumstances must you EVER criticize his taste in BEER. Poke muck at a man's beer and it's grounds for going outside where there's a lot more room .... if you understand what I mean.

Anyway Eptas tells me that the beers I have been choosing must be drunk at room temperature. Like most Australians, I had faintly heard of this quaint British preference for warm beer but until now I'd never actually BELIEVED it. Okay then. I removed the beers from the fridge (Australia's natural dwelling for amber fluids in bottles) and left them to ... er ... warm up ... on the kitchen bench.

I have occasionally thought about the warm beer thing and have discussed the matter with various folk 'down the Ivanhoe' - where most serious academic discussion takes place around here. The consensus seems to be that all of this comes down to TWO possible causes. ONE: the post GFC Brits can no longer afford to run refrigeration and have NO CHOICE but to drink their beer warm. TWO: (and more likely) it is so cold in Britain that room temperature is sort of like BEING IN a fridge to begin with and so further cooling is pointless.

Aaaaanyway I opened the bottle of Theakston Old Peculiar, blipped it fairly hurriedly and began to conscientiously sample what had been inside. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that there is a Theakston Old Peculiar Crimewriting Festival at Harrogate. It seems that I may KNOW someone from Harrogate or thereabouts.

So. What was the brew really like? Draw closely now so I don't have to speak too loud. I wouldn't want it to get around that Hobbs has been drinking his beer warm. .... It was ... bloody marvellous! Stay tuned for the next review."