Owl Duo

I am not a true ‘blipper’. I haven’t written here for over a year & yet, I can’t seem to be able to bring myself to delete the app from my phone. I guess it’s doing no harm.
This month has marked the first anniversary of the death of my dad. It’ll be his birthday tomorrow too. He would’ve been 72.
We scattered his ashes at the start of the summer last year, near a bridge on a bend of the river Eden. It’s just a few miles down from where he & my mum lived & now mum is there alone but when she walks the dogs upstream from here, she is able to have a quiet word. Today, these two owls were boldly peeping out. Last visit, it was two otters, playing in the water. Dad loved wildlife & I feel like their showing up on occasions such as today, is no coincidence.
In other news, I am once again heartbroken. I met somebody around this time last year & despite my every intention to keep it a slow burner, we soon fell into a very comfortable & (I thought) loving, fulfilling relationship- involving not just us, but (regrettably, because my eldest is so upset by the abandonment) the 5 children we have between us. My partner suffered a messy mental breakdown, just after New Year & I unfortunately, was his collateral; I was told I had been his escapism whilst he had tried to bury his head from the problems he was facing in his actual life: post-divorce financial hardship, grief, issues at work etc…
This is the third time since my marriage ended 4 years ago that I have been treated badly by men who are not in control of themselves mentally.
I am clearly making exceptionally poor choices & I now have some difficult & painful processing to do to keep plodding on.