The Latest in a Litany (of Unsent Messages)

Written April 25; picture taken March 27

There's nothing on MY conscience. I'm the wronged person, yet I'm the one trying to resolve things. The one reaching out while you stonewall. And it's not only because you stole a life-changing amount of money from me and I want you to right that wrong. I'd have taken you to court if that was all that mattered to me. I've never even consulted a lawyer. The other things I want, which I told you in text messages during your brief reconnection that was a real eye-opener, and in my letter, are far more important than any amount of money... Reconciliation. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. Mutual understanding. To be able to trust you again. Obviously not possible if you have no real remorse and refuse to choose compassion and honesty. You know what makes you sound really stupid? It's not talk-to-text, as you would say; it's lies and projections, unfounded accusations, illogical statements, confounding deflections...

Much of the truth is plain to see. Money was clearly what mattered to you first and foremost. Clearly you were ready to leave when you started robbing me. And clearly you'd been thinking about that despicable theft since keeping the secret that made it possible. How could you treat anyone like you did me, let alone someone who loves you, truly (unconditionally), who gave so generously to you, put you above myself and just tried to make your life easier, as real partners do? No I wasn't perfect, of course, but I loved you the best I could at the time.

I can accept you not being the person for me; I can't swallow the pill of you being the person who would do me so dirty and then just abandon me, not care to make it right... who is so opposite of the person I saw you as... the person God created you to be. Put dishonesty, contempt, malice, hypocrisy behind you, please. It's a win-win-win: you, then me, then everyone else you and I affect.

The page in the picture is in the Bible you gave me the first time I met you ... I remember when you admonished me paraphrasing the "do not worry" passage ... Praise God he brought me to faith in spite of you, an astoundingly hypocritical professing Christian; in the aftermath of your use and abuse.

"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:35

'Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.' Romans 13:8-10

I could go on and on and on with verses to convict you, but I hope you read the Bible yourself. I hope you do still desire to follow Jesus, though you went astray. I'm still praying and trying to keep believing that you're not going to let the pain and destruction between us be the end of the story.