Introspective

Yet another high pain, high drug, high paralysis, low sleep couple of days in the randomness that is life with the dark sisters , Arachnoiditis and Syringomyelia ....I've said it all before, and often, on these pages, no doubt I"ll say it again.

Over the day I've taken rather too much "top up" morphine and I'm skirting the edge of morphine poisoning: deeply unpleasant nausea and shallow breathing - nothing to worry about I hasten to add! just a very marginal overdose into familiar if unwelcome territory , I really ought to know better by now.

Consequently an introspective day, just me and my thoughts. All the more so as Kit is at her mother's. A moment or two ago....or was it an hour or two?...I spoke a thought aloud, just to break the silence. It sounded over loud and hard edged, bouncing off the walls, uncushioned by any other ear but mine, almost profane in the stillness.

They've been an undisciplined, under achieving, imperfect bunch today, my thoughts. They repeat themselves, they lose their way and drift off aimlessly down some imagined track in the mental forrest.....until they wake to find themselves in completely unfamiliar territory with no idea where they're going....or how they get back.