Lightning.

This is basically a picture of me in my new boxers. Hurrah they're lovely.

However the pattern completely describes how I am feeling, struck down, and burnt. I feel empty, and that is the type of sad I hate the most, so i plan on sitting in bed with my sketchbook on my lap, working, and printing, and sticking, and trying not to want to die quite so much.

I wish someone would see that I am worthy, and I wish I could see someone that I just think, god I want her she's beautiful. I am tired of the current love, although it will forever linger I feel ready to look deeper because I am sad again because I hate the winter weather, but also because I feel I am worthy of being able to fall in love again, it's been almost a year and I need a refresh button to be installed or something.

[////|||| ] - Downloading...

I wish.

I need Bethan especially at the moment, but she is too busy for me, I don't know particularly why at this time, but it'll pass i'm sure. It just upsets me because everyone else she has time for, maybe it's an ex girlfriend thing, either way it's unfair but i'm used to it because Love is a pointless destroyer, happy for a while, locked away in ironic misery for the rest of the time. I mean we're not even together anymore and i've had a different girlfriend for almost 8 months. I am so fucking miserable haha, if only I had feelings anymore. Everything is matte, nothing is crisp, nothing shines. Life is a constant, but I guess because the high's aren't high, the lows aren't so crushingly low. I miss the ascent, it's been forever.

~

Come on dream girl, run past me, just once.