In Chinatown

large

We were all sat around the table in the hostel common area when a guy with an ear piece and a clipboard stuffed with release forms asked us if we wanted to be filmed interviewing some Amish people for a show on TLC.

We had all been drinking, so there was no question of nervousness. Some of the group even started coming up with some culture-shock comments that teetered on vulgarity. Actually, there was no teetering about it. It was pretty darned shocking.

In came the Amish, shuffling into the kitchen, three women, two guys, all very good looking- a select casting, perhaps, and all wearing the traditional get-up in pastel colours. A camera crew surrounded the table and the producer was telling us to look around with an air of shock.

I was more shocked to see one of the guys pull out a smart phone when he was off camera and check his messages, though. We all starred in another scene several hours (and several beers) later when we had to walk into their room, acting the part of curious neighbours, coming in and say "hey!! what on earth are you guys doing here?", is New York different to your rural little backwater?

The trouble for the producer, who was by now shouting: "I just can't take this shit!" was that we were all talking at the same time. The Amish guys were already drunk and were getting fed up of acting the part.

I started to doubt whether they were ever Amish at all. So keep your eyes peeled for me, in a rowdy group of travellers, asking "controversial" questions to a group of actors wearing braces and dresses.