Instructions

What to do if your beloved goes away for three weeks.

1. Fight: blame capitalism, stage a demo, draft petitions. Tremble with rage at the injustice of life. Complain that Mother Earth has been abandoned and shake your fist at climate change, greed, and mass incarceration.

2. Flee: Socialize with interesting people. Go out for dinner, take a walk, have tea, go to a public garden. Work out. Walk till you collapse.

3. Cry for Help: Embrace your soft pink piggy, nuzzle her and cry into her ears. See your therapist and sob for an hour. Wail, wallow, give in to the sorrow of the unloved, unwanted child who still lurks within.

4. Freeze: Lie in bed with the covers over your head. Meditate. Realize the moment fully. Examine your sensations and feelings. Name them.

5. Feign death: Lie in bed longer. Turn off the computer and the phone, and do not check for text messages from the beloved for at least three hours.

6. Write an instruction manual. Laugh, embracing your fool self and forgiving her for all this strange and irrational behavior. If necessary, begin again with Step 1.