In Between

A trip up to the hospital this morning; the last one before going in on Monday. Got the bus straight back home and had lunch.

I am anxious, jumpy, agitated and can’t settle to do anything. Took myself to Stockbridge with my book. I didn’t last long before wanting to be on the move again. No matter what I am doing my mind is on next week. I am scared and upset and I don’t want to go through with it.

I realised this afternoon that all week all I have seen are hospital staff and have had no other conversation other than how I am and information about next week. I am desperate for normal conversation to take my mind off things.

I came home, got into my pj’s and went to bed for a big cry.