Thursday 20 May 2010: Exhaustion
83/365: You know that feeling where you're absolutely and utterly exhausted? Where it's hard even to think about simple stuff let alone anything else? That's where I am right about now.
So, things that happened today? Well, my daughter spent the night throwing up and my husband had to take her and my little boy to the doctors this morning... which meant that they couldn't come with me to my Dad's funeral. And it was probably one of the hardest experiences of my life. From sitting in the car behind the hearse with that sense of the unreal, thinking 'what am I doing here??', to the crematorium and the painful sadness of the curtains closing with the coffin beyond... a packed church filled with people wanting to say goodbye to a person who'd been so many things to so many... complete with me unable to sing any of Dad's hymns as the tears blurred the words on the page in front of me.
Everything was fitting. Everything was done well. Everything was wrong.
Today was just awful.