From Compliment to Enlightenment

This is my facebook profile.

Many of you have probably heard of facebook. If not...here you go. It's simply an online social utility used to connect people. You have a profile, just like any other such site, which asks for interests, favorite movies, music, books, and then an "about me" section. What mine says is unimportant. (In fact, I didn't realize that you could read what it says until I saw it on here. Well...nice to meet you all!)

Anyway, today a friend of mine who moved away nearly two years ago for seminary complimented my profile. He said, "you have the coolest profile and profile picture ever." As "slang" as his comment was, coming from him, this meant a lot. He is a very sincere young man who doesn't throw compliments around, especially to women.

I looked through my short, very simple profile after I received his message, and I realized just how much his compliment meant to me, because...

I am me!

I am me!

I. Am. Me!

After all these years of trying to figure out who "me" was, usually in relation to other people(family, friends, boyfriend), or sometimes trying on different faces, I've found her!

I'm not who I want to be yet(YET), but who I am, I really am! I am genuine. I am real. What you see is what I am. No facade. No identification based on someone else. No trying. I. Am. Me.

Forgive the weak/cheesy metaphor, but before, it was like I was a liquid, you know? And the people around me, particularly the people closest to me, were the container. I would change shape based on them. I would identify myself by what I was to them.
Now, I've come to realize, I'm more like, oh my gosh this metaphor is just going downhill...now I'm more like Jello. (I'm laughing out loud at myself) I'm not a solid, because your being has to have some give, right? So I'm Jello, because I'm not unwilling to bend a little, but I am still me when I do.

Wow, I apologize for the lack of eloquence in this blip; I'm just so excited! So there you have it--me, unscripted! Haha...


It's feels good to be Jello.