'im indoors

By imindoors

One of Those Mornings.

The plan was as follows: nip down to the Ocean Vue cinema to watch the 10am showing of a film (with luck in an empty cinema - how all films should be seen in my book); a leisurely and pressure-free wander round some shops to pick up some Christmas pressies; a nice cup of coffee while watching a stressed out world flap about around me; then home for a pleasant lunch.

The reality was as follows: nipped down to the cinema only to find that the only film worth seeing had failed to even get to the cinema due to the adverse weather. 'Oh, well....a quiet wander around before the crowds get.......'. The crowds then poured through the doors of the shopping centre and, not only that, an enormous brass band then started hurling impossibly loud and badly-played carols at me. Trying to make myself heard in Waterstone's to find out if they had a book I wanted, I'm sure I heard the assistant say 'Bear with me....I'll find it for you'. I waited 20 minutes until I saw said assistant back behind the tills having a long chat with another customer. I stomped out. By now, I was getting a little prickly under the collar. This was exacerbated by the fact that (look away now if you are of a sensitive disposition) I was getting quite desperate for a poo.

Toilets out of order.

The leisurely coffee was now out of the question and I had to work quickly to get anything positive out of this rapid descent into Hell.
....but Debenhams didn't have any baking trays for mince pies ('er indoors' solitary request of me while I was out). Back in the car and off to the nearby Asda to see if they had any.....that would be a big fat NO. I'm now visibly sweating, the poo is getting very impatient......I'm in a living nightmare, surrounding by worms pushing me out of their way as they single-mindedly force their way to the 'Snacks' aisle.

Sod it. Camera out. Blip one of my favourite Edinburgh buildings while in the Asda car park (Chancelot mill) and a couple of possible speeding fines to get home in time for that poo.

I made it, but only just.



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