Another Tabby

So, today has been one of those unproductive days, one of those days that I still get from time to time, but which I'm learning to accept as part of life and not get too stressed about. Of course, having days like this is the reason that I'm still technically signed "off sick" and not out at work ruling the world!

It started off fairly well, loading the washing machine, doing a bit of cleaning in the utility room and so on. I spoke to my Mum on the phone a bit, then came up to my study to print out the assignment booklets for my maths courses this year (the website went live this morning). After battling with my rather moody printer I did eventually get things printed off and then hoped to get them all filed and do some work.

However, going through the calendar for the next few months suddenly made me rather scared and nervous and lonely. I logged on to twitter to see whether that would help and saw elevensestime going on - lots of talk of cakes etc. which I'm trying to avoid, and also the friend who no longer talks to me, or even follows me these days, holding forth, so I gave up.

So then I retreated to the sofa and blanket with a tin of custard for comfort (at least it wasn't a chocolate orange) and watched a rather fascinating programme I videoed ages ago where Richard Hammond and Stirling Moss discuss brain injury and crashing cars at high speed.

The rest of the day was lost to sleep. Not really surprising since I didn't sleep that much at the weekend. My Dad called on Saturday just as I was falling asleep to tell me that my stepsister had had her baby. I learnt last night that a cousin had also had one too - these things still upset me a bit, even though I no longer end up in floods of tears as I used to when I learnt of such things - being childless is the toughest thing I've ever had to deal with - far tougher even than bipolar disorder and depression. Furthermore, we've had a couple of late nights recently, so I was probably in need of sleep.

Now, late afternoon, I'm finally picking up where I left off this morning. The sleep has left me feeling better and it's now time to file the maths printouts and maybe do some work. The middle of the day may have vanished, but I'll make the best of what's left of it now!

Never give up! Those things which made me nervous and anxious this morning are actually exciting and leading me to a much better and more rewarding future than if I just gave up! Deep breaths!

Oh, and the picture - I was a bit short on inspiration today, but Tiggy was curled up asleep on the carpet this morning, so you have another tabby blip - keeping Dexter company from yesterday!