Tuesday 12 February 2008 : I've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots

My mother has suddenly launched an attempt to force-feed me.
The truth is, I am starving...and I wish I could eat this...
But I am so depressed that I feel like I am gagging on everything.
Since Friday, I've barely consumed 300 calories.
I feel terrible.
So hungry :'(

I don't understand how the loss of one insignificant person renders me incapable of functioning.

I cannot live. I don't want to anymore. I am even more miserable without him...

Why didn't he fight me when I said we couldn't talk anymore? Why did he just let me go? ...Because he doesn't care about me, and he never did. I am not a real person to him. Just a problem. A problem that he no longer has to deal with. He is relieved to have me out of his life.

But what about me? It is positively killing me.

I wish that he still looked at this so he could know that I need him to save me now. But he doesn't anymore.