Saturday 27 April 2013: A goodbye.......
So here I am,posting my 730th blip.....and it just feels right to close my journal with this image. Mine and Tom's hands interlinked,strength and unity surging between the two hands.
Thank you to everyone who has followed our roller coaster journey this past 2 years.I had no idea when I started my journey just how much we were about to face. As a couple we have stood strong together,time after time,occasionally stumbling but not staying down.
There have been times of real despair,times when we wondered how much more we could take.There has been moments when we even considered whether we would be better apart.....thinking that perhaps we were facing such unrelenting pressure because we just werent meant to be together.
And then reality set back in, of course we were meant to be together,we genuinely complete each other. We truly are soul mates,and would be nothing without each other.
As if to reinforce this theory, my world came tumbling down when Tom suddenly became very ill. I stood there,looking into the eyes of the man who came into my life when I was still a teenager,and very quickly became my world.To see him lying there so scared and vulnerable,shook me to the core.The fear of losing him was huge.
And when only a few weeks later,there was a repeat episode,this time however necessitating him being rushed into the resus room,and not being stable enough to move out of there for several hours.....well,our lives together literally flashed infront of my eyes.
I saw all the laughter,all the tears.I remembered his marriage proposal....down on one knee. I saw his smile as he heard he was about to become a daddy for the first time.I felt his strength as we went through 5 difficult pregnancies.I remembered what a hands on daddy he had always been....and how this remains the same now that he is a Papu to our 2 1/2 grandbabies.
All those thoughts and memories flashed by in seconds....whilst I was looking into those scared eyes behind an oxygen mask.
A few weeks on and we are still awaiting a diagnosis....we dont know what the future holds.But whatever it is,whatever we have to face we will be facing it together,as we always have,hand in hand.
I love you Tom xx
On that note I will just say a big thank you to everyone who has been with us for the last couple of years of our journey.You have all been amazing. For the time being I will still be using facebook,and can be found on there is anybody wishes to stay in contact.
My final words,in my journal will be the names of those about who this journal has been about and for.....my beautiful family....
Alix Rhian, Rebekah Louise,James Matthew,Kieran Thomas,Ruari Callum, Oliver Rhys,Grace Poppy,Peanut......and Tom xx