Buddy Yamaha

By richie_rollover

Practice, practice, practice

Got a guitar night out at mine tomorrow, so an evening in the spare bedroom practicing is being had. Only one of the usual suspects has got back in touch so far, so if anyone fancies an evening in South Queensferry drinking Cobras and playing Neil Young numbers badly...


We had to go to Livi earlier for a few bits and pieces and Maddy insisted on going to Toys R Us. I was off looking at lego and stuff like that when Roz and Maddy headed back to tell me they had an entourage of schemie children shouting at them. Sur enough three 10 - 13 year olds turned up and started hurling abuse.

Apparently Maddy (who's nine and a half) had been looking at some toys when one of them came up and said to her:

'Ha, it's five months tae Christmas.'

Roz replied that it was two and a half actually when they started screaming at her that:

'We're Jehovas eh, it's out ae f***ing order makin fun ae Jeovas. Ye can go tae f***ing jail for that.'

This was about the point that they arrived where I was. I gave the ring leader a dirty look and he continued:

'Aye, ye can go tae the f***ing jail, in fact ma da's a policeman and he's in this shoap. ah should go and get him and get ye arrested.'

At this point I gave him my best glare, put on an equally schemie voice and replied:

'Aye go an f***ing get him then ya wee scrote'.

This seemed to have the desired effect and they went off to harass someone else. Then when we were at the queue they walked out the store with no parent in tow Policeman or otherwise and tried to shoot us a dirty look.

It was quite amusing, but Maddy seemed rather shook up by the whole incident and insisted she didn't want to go back to that toys are us. Charming children they have out in Livi centre.

Oh for the days when it was acceptible for adults to give children like that a skelp round the heid, certainly what would have happened to me if I'd ever acted like that when I was that age.

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