Thursday 25 October 2012: Heart over head ...
Or head over heart?
I haven't blipped for ages.
Since having Floraidh, I've just felt so hugely protective about our children. I've kept taking photographs, but not felt comortable about putting them on a public forum. I can't explain what's changed, I don't really understand it myself.
But Floraidh turns one tomorrow (how did THAT happen?!) and I sat looking through old blips earlier tonight and felt sorry, that I haven't documented this first year of her life, as I did her big brother's. (It's all there, I just need hours and hours to write it all down and I fear I may have lost something in not doing so on the day.)
I look back and from just a thumbnail I see so much of life ... Well beyond what I actually wrote on any given day. For me, there are words said and for every image, words unsaid. More, perhaps. Each and every image taps in to memories, emotions, love ... for such a tiny thumbnail, a huge amount is contained within.
I started blip for myself, for my child and for my (now) husband, who was travelling a lot ... for far flung family and friends. I think that's what I need to get back to, that essence. A is abroad now as much, if not more than before. So many of our family and friends in Scotland and the world over.
But is the place to do so here, or somewhere I have more control over?
The head over the heart question troubles me still ...
Floraidh. One year old tomorrow. It's said so often, by so many - but I just can't believe it.
Such an absolute sunbeam in our lives. Incredibly mellow, so curious, so hysterically funny, such a petite little tomboy you have not seen! I have so many photos of my baby girl, that make me laugh, tug on my heart, make me long to turn the clock back to that given moment ... they just move me so much!
I think, maybe this started out as a journal for me, but somewhere along the line, it became my desire to create a diary for them to look back on.
What to do, what to do, what to do ...
Will this be a new return, or my last post?! I guess I'll know in my tummy tomorrow ...
The children received new hand-knitted hats from Grandma - a whole gorgeous package of woolly delights - thanks, Mum! They had such fun pulling them on and off and giggling like mad x