Happily, given my iPhone's iDeath yesterday, iHappened to be down in Pemrif this morning for a meeting, so was able to head to the Apple Store afterwards.
There, the genius was puzzled. She resorted to googling the error message, as she'd never heard of it (indeed, the Apple website listing the relevant error codes starts at 2 ... But my phone was producing error code 1). xP Her interpretation (supported by a few other genii) was then that it was a hardware fault - so she replaced my phone. ^_^
She also told me that my cut-down sim card (when I went to a Telstra shop to get a micro SIM they cut it down instead) technically voids the warranty. O_O Fanks, Telstra! Thankfully Apple don't enforce that. In any case, I went from Apple Store to Telstra shop and got a proper micro SIM (the guy behind the counter rolled his eyes at the previous Telstra shop cutting my card instead of giving me a real one...).
Home, restored from Monday night's backup ... Looks all good.
Oh, this? This is my photography page. Obviously. xP