Scoots, Shoots & Leaves

By TerriG

"We Ride Again"

Another weekend of music and revelry for me! This week it's our choir retreat - we rehearse all day Saturday and Sunday. Saturday night we have a talent show to de-stress from a day of intense work, and like last week's camp student concert, it's full of fun, poignancy, and amazing music.

This show frequently has parodies of the songs we're working on for our upcoming concert; this act was a take-off on "We Rise Again" - the trials and tribulations of bike commuters called "We Ride Again."

The skit began with one of the participants reading a helpful list of Don'ts for Women on Bicycles, ca 1895. Among them:

Don't be a fright.
Don't faint on the road.
Don't wear a man's cap.
Don't wear tight garters.
Don't coast. It is dangerous.
Don't boast of your long rides.
Don't criticize people's "legs."
Don't wear loud hued leggings.
Don't cultivate a "bicycle face."
Don't refuse assistance up a hill.
Don't wear clothes that don't fit.
Don't race. Leave that to the scorchers.
Don't wear laced boots. They are tiresome.
Don't imagine everybody is looking at you.
Don't go to church in your bicycle costume.
Don't wear a garden party hat with bloomers.
Don't contest the right of way with cable cars.
Don't chew gum. Exercise your jaws in private.
Don't wear white kid gloves. Silk is the thing.
Don't ask, "What do you think of my bloomers?"
Don't use bicycle slang. Leave that to the boys.
Don't go out after dark without a male escort.
Don't try to have every article of your attire "match."
Don't let your golden hair be hanging down your back.
Don't allow dear little Fido to accompany you
Don't scratch a match on the seat of your bloomers.
Don't discuss bloomers with every man you know.
Don't appear in public until you have learned to ride well.

View it LARGE

Comments
Sign in or get an account to comment.