Swimming Against The Tide

By ViolaMaths

Goodbye Smudge

Backblipped on 13th May 2012

A hard day.

Smudge was still ill, very much "not herself", and still not eating. I called the vet and booked an appointment for the afternoon.

Then the Wonderspouse and I had a discussion on facebook messaging and decided she was too ill to wait until the afternoon. He got straight on the bus and came home from work. I put Smudge gently into her box, having first given Tiggy, and particularly Felix, a chance to give her a little kiss. The Wonderspouse and I met up at the vet's.

She was so subdued, so poorly. We discussed with the vet. Smudge had lost even more weight - she was now just 1.45 kg. Her heart was enlarged, from beating so fast all the time, and all her systems were starting to close down.

The vet said that she could be put on a drip to rehydrate her and to get a bit of nourishment in, but that that would only buy her a little time. We all knew that the kindest thing to do would be to let her go.

Since her veins were so hard to get at, the Vet put a line in (and secured with the green bandages). I held lovely little Smudge in my arms while the all-too-familiar solution was injected into her line, and felt the life leave her little body. The Wonderspouse and the vet stroked her ears.

We stayed with her while the vet went to get scissors and a little pot so we could take some of her fur. As usual, the Wonderspouse cried, and I did practical stuff. The vet was a while away because the vet nurse who'd been with us was very upset and had to be comforted.

We left the surgery through the back door, taking the empty cat box and Smudge's blanket. In the hospital there were vets struggling with a lamb on a table. In the car park there was a farm truck with a sheep in labour in the back. Such is life when you live in the country as we do.

Once home we felt at a total loss. We busied ourselves with practical things. The Wonderspouse took advantage of a brief respite in the rain and mowed the lawn. We cleared up the newspaper that we've had in the kitchen for ages because Smudge couldn't manage cat litter. I mopped the kitchen floor. No more Smudge wee to go on it now.

This week was not turning out to be an exceptionally good one.

The photo was taken shortly after death. Smudge's body was still warm, but her eyes were starting to cloud over, and her ears were cooling.

Farewell little darling. Such a beautiful little one, so lovely, so much loved. xx

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