Growing Up

One of Miss E's oldest friends has just left after spending the day here.
It has suddenly hit me - like a ton of bricks - that those long; seemingly endless baby days are drawing to a close.
And it makes me sad.
Reading Hollowspy's wonderful birthday tribute to his eldest daughter made me cry and took me back four and a half years to the first minutes of Miss E's life - I was exhausted after 28 hours of labour and almost 40 hours without sleep. She was so tiny and so beautiful. And terrifying!
Since then my job has been to raise her; to teach her the big things like walking and talking; the little things like the Five Second rule, and the important things - sharing, listening, saying please and thank you, a love of books, telling the truth, the importance of being silly and the wonder of the imagination.
Tomorrow I'm taking her to nursery for the last time and on Monday she becomes a school-girl.
I never had a sense that the baby days were numbered and now they're over.
Rationally I know my job remains just as important but irrationally it feels like I'm losing her a little bit; handing her over to someone else.
I didn't expect that to make me feel quite so heartbroken.
I know it'll be fine. Wonderful in fact! She's going to love Reception and is already so excited knowing she's going to learn to read and write and do sums and do ballet and karate and play in the big playground and eat in the big dining room.....
But I can't stand endings.
I know I'm too sentimental and emotional but she's my baby and she's growing up.

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